Tell me what you want.

July 9, 2006

Tell Me What You Want

The Holy Spirit spoke to me this morning about passiveness and assertiveness.  Some people believe that to be assertive is to be aggressive but it doesn’t mean that at all.  To be assertive is to express what you want, or what you believe in a controlled manner.  God wants me (us), His Bride, to be assertive not just to each other but especially to Him.  I am pretty good at responding quickly to the voice of God as I am with my husband John but I also take a passive position towards God and my husband in the area of intimacy.  God wants me to—express myself to Him, approach Him, to want Him intimately.  He (and perhaps my husband), desires me to initiate intimacy in our love relationship. 

What makes a healthy relationship is the equal and consistent interaction between two people which includes things of a sexual nature.  In the intimacy of mine and God’s relationship, God wants me to tell Him what I want.  To head off my response to this, He reminded me He has made promises to me—(to us), He will not reject me (us) at my (our) most vulnerable state, He has promises me (us) that He will not judge me (us) in the middle of my (our) feelings, such as fear or passion.  He has told me (us) that I (we) am completely acceptable to Him, worth more than gold and silver and I (we) am loved with an everlasting love.  He is safe to approach, He is a safe place to land and He is safe to completely allow unlimited access to my physical, spiritual, emotional and mental being. 

Now...10/2010

As you can see the date on this writing was 2006 and God is still teaching me about coming to him in truth and honesty and telling him what I want. I've also had to start telling John how I feel and what I want from him. God has spoken to me and reassured me that I am free to tell Him what I want, no matter how nonspiritual it may sound

I was meeting Renee at a Women Aglow meeting and the Holy Spirit spoke to me in the car and asked me to tell Him what I wanted. I did not respond. At the meeting when the speak was finished speaking she asked if anyone wanted prayer. Renee and I discussed who would go up first. AS the lady was "reading her mail" and telling her what God wanted to her know...which we both knew that the lady had heard from God, I was giggling because I knew and she knew the lady had heard from God. 

It was my turn and I went up to the lady who told me that she does not hear this very often from the Holy Spirit....she said to me; God wants to know; What do you want? I could not even answer. She prayed a prayer yet we both knew that I had not revealed what I really wanted.

Later that day....I got totally honest with God. He reminded me that He already knows my heart but He needed me to say it to Him.  I told God I needed to be free of the curse that has been past down in my family and I was tired of living in fear all the time!! I expressed I am tired and don't want to live this way anymore! I asked for Him to either change my situation, increase my faith, remove the fear but do something!

I am relieved to say that I am experiencing more and more freedom everyday from fear. I have been given an increase of faith and an assurance that God wants me to express to him what is on my mind and heart.

I sense that God is laying beside me and wants to have pillow talk with me about my desires and fears. Its the kind of things that only a bride and her groom discuss alone in the dark.